Candied bacon...

Mini Carrot Cake: Jill Style

My favorite new MUST HAVE item? A mini loaf tin.
This has been a long-coveted and long-searched for item that I finally stumbled upon at Save on for about $17.

My first mini-baked good: the carrot cake. My personal favorite.

However, as we all know I like to take a tried and tested recipe (poached from Baker's Illustrated) and manipulate it to suit my taste and needs...

The original recipe is not so very special but has more nutmeg and cloves than what you'll find in any given cafe or bakery (Note: according to a well-known local pastry chef BI is one and only go-to for web recipes but you must purchase a subscription. But if you're low budget like me - get a one day free trial and copy the recipes you want to Word. werd?).

In my version I used half whole wheat flour, toasted walnuts and crushed pineapple. I also used half brown sugar baking Splenda. And to finish 'er of low fat cream cheese icing.
This made no taste or consistency compromise what-so-ever! It's full flavour and super moist. Friggin amazing...

$22/half dozen...see facebook site or email me for the details
Orders: 48 hrs notice

Sneaky pete's spice ingredient list? "spices"...sneaky

dog barking at a dog in a box

Hint: get your dog to bark at this post...then film it...then watch it in a mirror...its like stairs that turn into stairs....

fml

Ya know what really grinds my gears? - gets my goad ? - gropes my goose? - gags my gander? - gets my gonch ginched -?...

Dum dums in cars who do the slow roll.

I'm an avid runner and not having a car to get to the trails and living in the city (and a small one at that) I often have run in traffic-heavy areas. I've got the slow roll bump, thankfully, only once, from a mini-van half wit. Do you know how many times I have almost been hit on a slow roll? - EVERY TIME. I say 'every time' because more often than not the ding-dong behind the wheel peering off into the oncoming traffic beyond is hardly going over 5km per hour.
You give me a choice here, slow rollers: I can let you bump me and leave you etched with latent guilt about what might have happened had you been going faster or accelerated or - as I always do - let you roll your pitiful roll and then give you the mime's 'what the hell man! can't you see I'm existing here?...jeez I am so exasperated and fed up with your lack of attention to my being' as I wave my hands over my body to remind you of my physical matter, shake my head and paint a vivid look of disbelief on my face.
You know who you are slow rollers...creeping out into on coming traffic, fixated on one direction and one direction only. You creep, never putting your brakes on, never stopping at 'the line' - always consumed with your next chance to slip into your coveted lane so that your comparably short commute will get shorter by approximately 4.7 seconds.u roll only because I let you
My patience is wearing thin. My options lately have been leaning towards the former, though I have yet to act on these compulsions. But, beware...you roll only because I let you. So, if you slow roll bump a pissy jogger, who then gives you a wicked smile...question your culpability.

Ah, whatever, I'm just bored...Please look both ways before proceeding. That is all. I'm going to bed.

JILL'S BACKHAND BARS

The anticipated debut of my protein-packed (minimum of 12g per bar), low-sugar, at least 75% (approximately) organic BACKHAND BARS has arrived. Thanks you for the round of applause and excited gasps from all five of you that are reading this (that's a strong hint that I could use some social marketing support from u guys!). This is the endeavor that essentially led to this blog. I have a very active lifestyle and found myself buying loads protein bars for my training. However, being on a limited budget this got real pricey, real quick.
I am in the process of getting a small business going with these and am still perfecting the recipe. They come in different flavours, gluten free, dairy free - MADE TO ORDER, as well. So, if anybody out there that knows of a good independently owned cafes, or better yet, you work at one - let me know! Samples can be delivered on ze fly...

For orders please email or send me a message on facebook...
$18/dozen - fantastic shelf life/MADE TO ORDER (may change $/dzn)

The following is the ingredient list...

BACKHAND BARS

• organic quinoa
• soy veg protein
  
• whole organic oats
• organic coconut
• crunchy seed mix (sunflower, sesame, soy, pumpkin)
• ethically traded natural cane sugar
• cocoa powder
• chocolate protien powder
• splenda/stevia
• toasted sesame seeds
• reduced fat peanut butter
• organic, unsweetened apple sauce
  

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Hernadez (735 Yeats Victoria, BC)...& dog poop.

My friend Byron took me for a quick lunch today at this weird and random Mexican place that straddles the hallway of a mini-mall on Yeats. We ordered beef borritos from one side of the mall and, after receiving a card with a random Spanish word printed on it, took our place in the seemingly ad-hoc seating arrangement on the other side. The burritios, and all of their fare, is served on butchers paper. I had to hunt down utensils and napkins on the other side of the void...no condiments are offered. The burritos, served on hand made corn tortilla with locally raised, pasture fed beef, are the best in the city...no arguments. They also offer mini tacos which seem to be the most ordered dish...I think its something ridiculous like 5 for $5. Go...i promise no disappointments.

On another note: some time in the next month Byron has challenged me to the first ever - inaugural Unmanageable Oven challenge...make hand-made corn tortillas. Will keep you all updated. In honor of that I would like to present the following text message feed that Byron and I had after we parted ways:

Byron: I got dog shit on my pants?!

Me: What the fuck are dogs doing shitting on your pants, bud?

Byron: I'm trying to figure that out.

Me: Huh. Cuz when I left u u did not smell like dog shit

Byron: Ok yah it's weird

Me: Keep me abreast of the situation.

Byron: I'm going home

Me: Good idea.

And out of the mess...comes both bread and cheese!!!

So, last night at my bread making class at Cook Culture (2nd of a 3 part series on artisan bread making, with pastry chef and bread master, Brad Williams). We tackled the dough of baguette, focaccia, ciabatta, English muffins, crumpets and pizza. Sounds complicated but its all from a from the same dough that begins with a poolish or a pre-ferment. Not going to explain - most of you probably don't care either. The class was great...Brad us dinner out of the bread that was prepared and we had the best French toast i've ever had in my life (also learned that there are NO EGGS in french toast - just soak the toast in milk). Anyway, once again we took the dough home that we made. And once again...I ran out of time to get it into the oven ion the morning and it ended up on my baking tile at about 3:30. It turned out FANTASTIC!! I had intended on making a focaccia but it turned out to be an oiled ciabatta, I think. Whatever it looked like bread and tasted like bread. That victory, though, I have to count as bittersweet. I went through this last week...That first dough is made under supervisory council. Now its up to me to recreate the dough. I have no bakers scale which complicated matters further. And my kitchen, right now sucks (I should mention that I am in a different apartment than usual as my floors are getting redone...it's been a friggin disaster) - I have almost no counter space, galley style so no room for movement and has made my baking and cooking fiascoes that much more unmanageable. Anyway, the ciabatta turned out beautifully. I baked it with extra virgin olive oil, a chili-garlic mix and sweet onion. RAVE REVIEWS (for those of you who are reading this from afar - get closer...the spoils of the daily war I have with my kitchen go to my closest allies).

This particular post, I have decided is a two in one...I've backlogged some posts that need to ve aired to the public. Lets discuss Jill's Sink Cheese...
Yes, I made it at home and, yes my sink was involved but it's not as nearly as gross as it sounds.
So, Brad Williams briefed us on this last week and I thought I'd give it a shot...
-Take equal parts milk (fat percent doesn't really matter, I used 2%) and butter milk.
-Put them in a bowl and whisk together.
-Cover
-Put in your cupboard, where its warm and dry.
-Wait 3 days.
-Bring to a simmer on your stove
-strain through cheese cloth (someone said use nylons - don't - Cheese cloth can be found anywhere and is cheaper...try the Dollar store - DON'T GO HOBO IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO, is my motto)
-Let it drain (i drained over my sink...can be done anywhere you like (I DO NOT want to see any recipes out there called Toilet Cheese, please) - it will look like a feta with small curds but with a milder taste.
-Chill
-Eat!!

This was so easy to do and I ate it with a salad and with my oven-fresh ciabatta...amazing...

Really, my friends, if I can make fresh bread and cheese a success in my Ramen-ready, goof of a kitchen..so can you. That is all.

Artisan Bread Making at Cook Culture (Victoria, BC) )

So, today is my second bread making class at Cook Culture with B-Red Bakery owner and operator, Brad Williams. As I cruised the Cook Culture web site for more info on the class I came across a friggin horrendous photo of myself (See above), which I feel obligated to post for some reason (I think by admitting it's terrible it is somehow less humiliating...riiiight?). Anyway, last week we learned the basic and traditional flour, water, salt, yeast formula, which in and of its self is a science and an acquired technique. Brad is a fantastic baker and an enigmatic host who also whipped up a great mayo/Caesar salad dressing to go with the demo bread that baked as the class went on. We all had a chance to make our doughs in-house (Cook Culture has a fully-functional, dream kitchen in it's downtown store) to take home and bake - Easier said than done: while my classmates talked about their homemade, outdoor stone-wood burning bread ovens, stainless steel - french door convection ovens and Agga ovens (my dad 'n mum's) I stressed out over that fact that my generic electric-digitally controlled Playskool piece of shit oven may not reach a temperature of the necessary 500 degrees necessary to bake this ancient artisan bread. Nor did I have the beautiful French-made ceramic Dutch Ovens that were featured in the class (NOT the bedroom fart trap, dummies) I am apparently fairly ill-equipped to undertake this type of baking but for those who know me this is the type of challenge I readily take on.
With my dough safely proofing in my cupboard and the assurance that my oven in fact will provide the necessary heat, I headed out the next day to find a baking tile or a used dutch oven for my bread.
I rummaged through Value Village looking for something, ANYTHING, to get this bread made, to no avail (I am on a non-existent budget for these types of luxuries). However, I did find a baking tile at Capitol Iron for under $15 (came with a pizza cutter, too!) and had some unbleached linen cut from the fabric department for 2$ to proof my dough in. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. I stopped by Cook Culture to see if what I had found would suffice (or was it to gloat over the fact that I didn't have to spend $200 on equipment?...) and they graciously lent me a beautiful Emile Henry dutch oven for the week!!! I ended up experimenting with both and they worked equally well, as it turns out.
My first loaf came out great! I got WAAAAAAAAAY ahead of myself with the second loaf by using whole grain flour and adding cheese and marinated olives (soak em first, I was told later)
. ..my tendency ignore expert advice usually results in tire fires and larsony...it did not end well.
By Thursday, after a few more misguided and sloppy attempts I ended up with a pretty decent organic, whole grain loaf. It was dense but killer with some cheese and meat slapped on it. After all was done I came out unscathed and having acquired a healthy respect for the basics: flour, water, salt, yeast and patience.

...well, that last one is a stretch.

My adventures in bread making continue tonight...

The Unmanageable Oven: An Open Statement

This blog is largely the product of confusion, frustration, dicey decision making, passion, curiosity, boredom and freedom. Some of you who know me will be able to make sense of this - others will not. Not to worry. Stick with me on this one, if only for a few posts, and I think you'll come to understand my intention.
I've long been passionate about food and the lifestyle such pursuits seem to foster. Over the past decade my professional and personal life has flirted with culinary curiosity and experimentation to little advancement yet has remain a constant and comforting source of drive and ambition.
One thing I certainly am not is a natural. Some people just have a way in the kitchen. I, by nature, am messy disorganized, easily distracted and, as most would likely agree, a bit too adventurous at times. In this age of gluten-free, fare-trade, local made, organic-grade, omega, amino, soy based bullshit I'm striving to find balance and reason in my life and in my oven. It's a battle but I love it.
I don't have all the proper equipment nor do I even venture a claim that I have any know-how, but I'm going to give it a shot anyway.The time in between the mental inception and the digital inception of this blog (a couple weeks??) I have taken on some fairly risky and highly unmanageable projects...a 525 degree oven with no proper mitts, cheese yielded from a cupboard and a sink, gluten-free, low fat, high protein, sugar-free chocolate zucchini cake (Eeeeepic failure that was well deserved). I have also delivered some delicious and socially conscious successes...homemade organic protein bars, oat PB fudge squares that have captured the hearts of literally 4's n5's of people, and some surprisingly healthy yeast cultures.
This blog is simply intended to be an outlet my hyper-extended ambitions. Seeing as food is always on my mind, that will be the focus, but my thoughts on anything from your terrible outfit to marathon training, from my new guilty pleasure to the mess your dog made on my rug, from minor annoyances to major grievances-Look for favorite podcasts, guest hosts, playlists, boxing matches, roadtrips and any suggestions that my future readers can offer. You'll find it all here. I'm tired of explaining all this. Just stay tuned...more will be revealed.

Unmanageable Oven